I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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