did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
