im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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