just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
