Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
