Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
