it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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