walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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