Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I said "one day" and that day is not today
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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