I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
try to milk me bitch
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