Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
nutella sex= disaster
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
