You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
