remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
