I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I understand Curling. That high.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
They are going to name an STD after you.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
