Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
