Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize