you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
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