My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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