speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
