woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
