think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
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Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
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She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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