I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize