Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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