I'm jealous of your bromance
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
