I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
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