It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
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Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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