And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
