She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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