It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
