first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
