I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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