I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
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