I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Randomize
