How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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