A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
