Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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