He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
