I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize