He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
