ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
