well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Randomize
