I want to have your abortion
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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