a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
