ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
