In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
