Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
You smell like a Billy Joel song
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
