I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Randomize