Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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