No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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