I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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