I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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