Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
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