woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
