He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
