a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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